Any independent filmmaker who wants to make a mark in the Bay Area should make a gay-themed animated horror film about the African-American experience. Why? Because such a film would have a good chance at showing up one of the areaâ€™s June festivals.
For instance, SF IndieFestâ€™s Another Hole in the Head Festival (as in â€œThe Bay Area needs another film festival like it needs a hole in the headâ€) opens June 1 at the Roxie for a two-week run (as in running terrified with a gushing wound as something scary and supernatural chases you). Among the edifying works of art to be shown at this sci-fi and horror gathering are Blood Car, Automaton Transfusion, and Zombie Farm.
But this year IndieFest is bringing us two festivals in one. On the theory that horror films are best seen at night, theyâ€™re presenting SF IndieFest: Gets Animated as a matinÃ©e addition to Hole in the Head. This will include some Plymptoons, Space Battleship Yamato (aka Star Blazers-The Movie), and a collection of politically incorrect Bugs Bunny cartoons.
Meanwhile, on June 7 through the 17 (with a few weekdays off in the middle), the San Francisco Black Film Festival will screen at three locations. The festival opens with The Front Line (this festival doesnâ€™t provide links to film description on its site, so no links here), an Irish thriller involving an African immigrant, and closes with an American love story called Premium. In between is a time travel fantasy called Slave Warrior: the Beginning, the hip-hop documentary Finally Sayinâ€™ What I Really Mean, and a whole lot of other pictures. The festival is also screening a series of childrenâ€™s shorts on the morning of June 9.
If thatâ€™s not enough for you, Frameline presents the San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival (thatâ€™s LGBT as in Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, and Transgender, in case youâ€™re just off the boat from Kansas) on June 14 through the 24. Among the films that caught my eye are The Bubble, described as a â€œcontemporary, queer Romeo And Juliet [concerning] two young men, one Israeli and one Palestinianâ€ and comedy named Itty Bitty Titty Committee (with a name like that it better be a comedy).
If Iâ€™m not telling you about any films Iâ€™ve actually seen, itâ€™s because I havenâ€™t seen anything. Iâ€™ve been too busy to attend press conferences and screenings, or to request the screener DVDs with which critics get to preview festival films. Iâ€™m not sure Iâ€™ll make it to any of these festivals.
But it wonâ€™t surprise my loyal readers that the one June festival I know Iâ€™ll get to is the Broncho Billy Silent Film Festival in Niles at the end of the month. But Iâ€™ll tell you about that one later.
Come to think of it, our hypothetical independent filmmaker should make a gay-themed animated silent horror film about the African-American experience.